2016 is fast approaching, how do you deal with criticism?
I just finished reading the book The Richest Man Who Ever Lived. It offers strategies for success from the book of Proverbs. Criticisms can pop up anywhere. At some point in your life you will be criticized, either personally or professionally, and at times, it will be difficult to accept.
Most of us react to criticism in one or more wrong ways: instantly defend yourself or action, go on the offense and attack the critic, go into denial or shift the blame and point fingers. Poor reaction to criticisms comes naturally but can be worse that the remark itself. Being able to hear people’s opinions can improve our relationships, academic performance, and job satisfaction.
Criticism is the term for judgment or evaluation, good or bad. I still struggle with my response to criticism and found the steps below to be very helpful.
Reacting vs Responding:
When you react you are on the defensive and your emotion is in control. On the flip, responding is a conscious choice. When you respond properly to criticism, it loses its power to hurt you. Responding is a thoughtful response, contains reasoning, and is guided less by emotion and more by logic.
Use these 3 steps to help you respond properly to criticism and turn this dreaded enemy into a valued friend.
- Carefully consider the source: was the remark made by someone qualified and experienced to pass that judgment?
- Consider the accuracy of the criticism: is the remark gross exaggeration, spite, or downright inaccurate?
- Take the criticism under advisement and determine the appropriate response. Take time to analyze the remark.
Analyze the remark:
Initially, criticism is like getting an unexpected bucket of water thrown into your face. Although shocking, there’s nothing life threatening about it.
- Define the “water” – was the remark exaggeration, absurd or meaningless.
- Define the “sand” – what was irritating, or hurtful in the remark.
- Determine the “gold” – pull out any truths in the remark that can help you perform better in the future.
Criticism is “the art of evaluating or analyzing with knowledge and propriety.” Unfortunately, criticism is often delivered when someone perceives that we have failed them, not lived up to their expectations. The result is that we find ourselves on the receiving end of words spoken out of frustration, disappointment, anger, envy. Typically, our reaction is to respond in the same manner – with anger, sarcasm, defensiveness. We need to be more mindful of our responses to ensure integrity in our interactions.
Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. Mindfulness allows us to observe our thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Being mindful helps us reduce the likelihood of emotional reactions and unproductive arguments.
Our lives are not determined by what happens to us but how we react to what happens, not by what life brings us but the attitude we bring to life. – Wade Boggs
How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours. – Wayne Dyer
It’s not the situation, but whether we react negative or respond positive to the situation that is important. – Zig Ziglar
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To Your Success,
Althea
Althea A. McLeish Wilson, RN, MSN
Educate . Empower . Encourage
Promoting inner health & outer beauty!
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